The viewpoint of unrequited love isn’t good for your mental health.

Anyone who’s experienced it knows—
it drives you insane.

You spend every day on edge,
reading into every single thing she does,
imagining hidden meanings behind even her smallest gestures.

All I wanted was to keep things the way they are now—
peaceful, ordinary days like this moment.
That simple wish turned out to be the hardest thing of all.

Maintaining this everyday life was the hardest thing.

Because now… she likes someone else.

“Hey! Let’s go home together! Why are you leaving me behind?”
“That’s why you don’t get a boyfriend—you’re always glued to me.”

It was my timid rebellion, and at the same time, my timid act of care.

I’ve had a girl friend—literally, a girl who’s been my friend—since elementary school.
You could call her a childhood friend of the opposite sex,
something people often talk about but rarely have in real life.

For me, that fantasy actually existed.

And I liked her.
I think I started feeling that way back in middle school.

It was when she was confessed to by another guy.

At that moment, I felt something inside me tighten.
My chest ached, my palms sweated,
and though I wanted to look away,
I couldn’t help but stare, as if I had to see what happened next.

Even I was surprised at myself.

Why… why did seeing Seo-ah get confessed to make me feel this way?

It was a feeling too complicated for a middle schooler to understand.

When we entered high school,
she started getting confessed to more often,
but for some reason, she never went out with anyone.

Honestly, that made me relieved.
At first I’d get anxious every time it happened,
but eventually, I knew she’d just turn them down,
so I stopped worrying as much.

But… lately, things have changed.

Even through all of high school, she stayed by my side,
and our everyday life went on without a hitch.

But now that we’re adults,
that routine—the one I tried so hard to protect—
is starting to crack.

“I wonder if it’s because of that… When will I get to hang out with Woo-bin, I wonder~”
“…”

That was the first time I’d ever heard her say something like that.

It was the first time she’d liked another guy first.
In the past, she was always on the receiving end of confessions.
Maybe that’s why she could turn them all down so easily.

She had never dated anyone simply because
no one had ever caught her interest.

But now… she likes someone.

To me, that felt like a serious threat.

It meant the comfortable, peaceful days I’d taken for granted
might suddenly shatter.

It terrified me.

That same feeling I’d had back in middle school—
that suffocating, helpless feeling—came flooding back.

“Then maybe I’ll just go home by myself next time?”
“F-fine! Do whatever you want. If you want to abandon me, go ahead…”
“What? You said I could! Anyway, who’d take care of you if not me?”

When it actually seemed like she might go without me,
I panicked and stopped her—
pathetic, cowardly me.

“My legs hurt. Give me a piggyback ride.”

Seo-ah treated me like just a friend.
Honestly, that was fine.
As long as she stayed by my side,
it didn’t matter if she didn’t see me as a man.

As long as she didn’t become someone else’s girl,
I’d be okay.

If we could just keep joking around like this,
walking home together every day—
that’d be enough.

Is that greedy of me?
I don’t think so.
It’s such a humble wish.

“Hey! Have you ever even tried carrying me? You might die, but go on—try it!”

Then she tried to jump on my back, laughing.

And honestly, that’s what I’d been aiming for—
I’d provoked her on purpose,
because I knew it would lead to this kind of casual physical contact.

Pathetic, right? Creepy, even.

Yeah, that’s the kind of guy I am.
Someone worthy of criticism.
But that’s who I am—what can I do?

If I weren’t this kind of person,
I probably wouldn’t have kept my feelings bottled up,
pretending to be satisfied just staying by her side
under the convenient excuse of “childhood friends.”

“Okay, put me down now. That was actually nice—being carried feels comfortable.”

When we reached her apartment,
she climbed off my back with a satisfied sigh.
For a brief moment, I was happy.

“Ugh, you’re heavy. Lose some weight.”
“What?”
“Anyway! I’m heading out. Get inside safe.”
“Oh! Right, my mom said she wants to see you sometime. She’ll cook for you—
I think she misses you.”
“Really? It has been a while.”
“Yeah. Let’s go to my parents’ house together sometime.
I need to visit Mom anyway.”

Just as she turned away, she said that.

It made me happy to hear.
I used to visit her house often,
but as we got older, those visits stopped.

She’d become… well, a woman.
And I was a guy who smelled like one—
so her room had become a forbidden zone.

Though honestly, the real reason was simpler.
She’d moved out,
and since she no longer went home much herself,
I had no reason to go either.

Still, her invitation felt like unexpected good luck.

“Min-jae, how have you been?
Feels like just yesterday you and Seo-ah were running around here as kids.
Time really flies.”
“Yeah, it does. Um, how have you been, ma’am?”
“Oh, don’t even ask. I swear, it’s like she’s having a late puberty or something—
she’s been driving me crazy lately.
You treat your mom well, right, Min-jae?”
“Ah…”

It’s been so long since I last sat at Seo-ah’s dining table like this.

At home, I thought she’d change into comfy clothes,
but she stayed in the same outfit she wore outside—
probably because she was conscious of me being there.

Back in early high school,
she’d always wear her favorite black slip with a thin cardigan at home.

I hadn’t seen that in years.

It hurt a little.
We’d grown distant in ways I couldn’t quite explain.
Maybe it was just natural as we grew up—
a quiet awareness of being a man and a woman.

If she saw me as a man,
that distance might have excited me instead.
But because she didn’t,
it only made me feel how far apart we’d drifted.

She didn’t even see me that way,
yet still kept me at a distance.
Cruel, contradictory.

Just because of biological differences,
a subtle wall had formed between us.

And me?
I overthought it all—just because she didn’t change clothes in front of me.

If she knew what I was thinking,
she’d probably be disgusted.

“Mom! What are you talking about?”
“Oh my, was that a secret? Woo-bin, right? The one you said you liked?”
“It’s not like that! You’re making it sound like I was gushing about him or something.”

Yeah. That’s exactly how it sounded to me too.

Even her mom called him ‘Woo-bin oppa’—
which meant Seo-ah must’ve been excitedly talking about him that way.

The rice I’d been eating suddenly felt like sand in my throat.
I chewed and chewed but couldn’t swallow.

Still… Woo-bin hasn’t had dinner here with her mom, right?
At least not yet.
So I’m still ahead.

That’s how I pathetically tried to comfort myself.

It was the only way to calm my anxious heart.

“So, Min-jae, don’t you have a girl you like?”
“Well… not really…”

Few things are more awkward than being asked that
when the girl you like is sitting right beside you.

Honestly, I wanted to blurt out,
“I like your daughter! I’ve always liked her!”

“He doesn’t have one, Mom. I’ve never even seen him talk to another girl besides me.”
“Seo-ah, then you should give him some space—
how can he meet someone if you’re always around?”
“Oh! Is that why, Min-jae? Because of me?”

She looked at me with wide eyes.

Was everyone teaming up to tease me or something?

Look at me—plain face, nothing special.
If not for Seo-ah,
I probably wouldn’t have even spoken to a girl until now.
I’m that kind of loser.

Still… maybe I was lucky.
To have a childhood friend like her—
someone everyone admits is beautiful.

I found her before anyone else did,
back when she wore red glasses and had chubby cheeks.
She wasn’t “pretty” back then.

But now… she’s transformed into a perfect beauty.

I still can’t believe it.
How can someone change so much?

Anyway, finding her early and building that bond—
that’s the only thing I can really be proud of.

After dinner, I left her house.

I thought maybe we’d hang out in her room again,
read comics like the old days.

But that wasn’t allowed anymore.
We’d grown up too much for that.

My heart ached again.
Am I the only one who feels this way?

Does she really feel nothing about how much things have changed?

Why am I the only one hurting over such small things?

“By the way, are you really not going to get a girlfriend?”
“Me? I don’t know…”

She asked, completely unaware of how much it tore me up inside.

“I can’t even imagine you dating another girl, honestly.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Just… I don’t know…”

She started to say something—then swallowed it.

“Ah, forget it. Hurry up and go.”