If things kept going like this, my life was going to fall apart.

I was fully aware of how pathetic I looked.

Clinging to Seo-ah, unable to focus on anything in my own routine.

How laughable was that.

No one even noticed, and it felt like I was sinking alone into quicksand.

Yeah, I couldn’t keep hanging onto Seo-ah forever.

Up until now, I hadn’t felt much urgency, but seeing her lately…

I couldn’t just keep hurting in silence anymore.

Seo-ah already liked another guy.

From that moment, I should’ve started letting go, at least a little.

That might’ve been the trigger for me to decide to change.

There was no way for me to interfere anymore.

To feel better, I had to change myself.

But I couldn’t flip a switch like that.

Of course not—I still liked Seo-ah way too much.

I was drawn to everything she did, every little thing.

Even now, I kept checking her SNS over and over.

So… I figured I’d numb myself to it, step by step.

Thinking back, I’d never even tried something like that before.

The idea of liking her less on purpose.

But doesn’t it sound weird just saying it?

Liking someone is an honest instinct.

It’s not some emotion I can control at will.

And now, trying to like her less?

It definitely wouldn’t be easy.

Still, I had to do it.

To get comfortable, I had to fool my own feelings.

At least on the outside, distract myself with other things.

I was tired of hurting like this.

You think I enjoy the pain?

I agree I’m naturally shady, but I didn’t ask for this twisted personality.

Well, maybe it was a form of rebellion.

She’d ditched me for another guy, so this was my way of showing resentment.

My own timid act of defiance.

A timid rebellion against the girl who’d left her precious childhood friend behind.

Damn… In the end, it all boiled down to hoping she’d look back at me, even a little.

What a foolish idiot.

“I… I’d like to join the club.”

“Really?”

That’s how I ended up there—at a club.

I’d never done any extracurriculars, just the bare minimum to scrape by and graduate this university.

Clubs held zero interest for me.

But today, I sought one out myself.

‘Game Development Club’

A straightforward name that laid everything out—no frills.

So engineering-major of it.

My department was computer engineering.

And among that, I had a big interest in game development.

I even worked on indie games myself.

Actually… If things had gone normally, I would’ve aimed for a better university with a game dev-focused program.

But Seo-ah barely got into this one, so I followed her here.

That’s how serious I was.

Truth be told, since I’d already carved out a spot as a developer without needing that specific major, maybe I didn’t crave it that much.

Still, my feelings were genuine.

The pure wish to attend school with Seo-ah.

“Yeah… I’m not sure how good I’ll be, but since I’m a freshman…”

“It’s fine! We’re not some elite group anyway.

We’re all just hobbyists who got together.”

That might be a developer thing.

Clubs like this always lacked people.

So they welcomed anyone for any reason.

Seeing her greet me with that soft, easy smile made it feel that way.

I kept my dev experience under wraps.

No desire to brag upfront, and wasn’t it cooler to reveal it casually?

Like in an anime—turns out he’s got insane skills.

That vibe appealed to me.

“I’ll fill out the application later, so come on in for now!”

“Sure…”

She hurriedly ushered me inside.

As a game dev club, the setup was decently equipped.

They had a Mac for iOS builds.

Plus four desktops for Windows dev.

Though… probably not many actually coded here.

Huh… Why’s the place so empty?

“Oh! We usually have five including me, but everyone’s tied up with other stuff right now…”

“Ah… Got it.”

She must’ve caught my wandering, uneasy gaze and rushed to explain.

Obvious, right?

How many people join a place like this seriously to code?

They probably dipped after one try, overwhelmed by the workload.

The remaining four were likely sticking around just to hang with one of the few girls in engineering.

Predictable as hell.

But could a club survive with just five?

The doubt crossed my mind, but whatever—it existed now, so I’d roll with it.

If it folded later, I’d find somewhere else.

“Um… Do you have any games in development right now?”

“No group project at the moment… But soon! Probably, haha…”

Her fidgeting beside me was getting to me, so I plopped down in an empty seat to ease her.

She sat next to me right after.

“Y-You’re joining, right?”

“Yeah… That was the plan anyway.”

“Phew… So, what’s your name?”

“Min-jae. Kwon Min-jae.”

“Ah! Min-jae-ssi. I’m Lee Se-bin.”

Once introductions were out, the vibe turned awkward.

Felt like I had to say something…

“How old are you…?”

I broke the ice first.

I wasn’t the type to just clam up like an idiot in silence.

“I’m 22… You?”

“I’m… 20.”

Oh no!

This path led to dead air again!

Worse, she was two years older—a sunbae.

Didn’t look it at all.

Hard to tell a woman’s age by looks.

I’d pegged her as my age.

“Ah… Well, I do have something I’m working on solo—wanna see that at least?”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

This time, Se-bin-ssi revived the dying spark.

Relief.

This topic could stretch out—no more one-and-done chats.

She was showing her own game, so I got a bit excited.

What would it be like?

Not about her… Just developer curiosity about what creation awaited.

“What do you think?”

“Hm… You said 22, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t you think you should work harder on it?”

“Huh?”

“You could bundle these parts and code them in one go for simplicity…

It’s way too messy right now.

Readability tanks for anyone else picking it up.

And this random function—you ran it multiple times?

That just spits the same number.

This loop isn’t even applying, see?

I have no clue how the program’s even running.

Mistakes a high schooler wouldn’t make…”

Oops.

My occupational hazard kicked in—I blurted out every glaring issue without filter.

Shouldn’t have…

I knew better, but it all tumbled out.

This was her hobby, not a job!

No need for harsh standards…

“And! What’s next? This is wild—I was frustrated with it too.”

Wait… That’s not the reaction I expected.

After my long critique, her eyes actually lit up.

No way that sparkle was fake.

She was genuine.

Really taking my feedback to heart.

“Ah… But for solo work, it’s impressive.”

“Are you some prodigy, Min-jae-ssi? And a freshman…”

“Oh, no. Just had a lot of interest growing up.”

We ended up talking with Se-bin-ssi for a good while after that.

It’d been ages since I’d chatted so enjoyably.

For a moment, I lost myself in it—no stray thoughts.

Our conversation heated up the quiet club room.

By then… Texts had piled up on my phone.

From Seo-ah.

Heh… Guess I got pretty into it.

First real overlap in topics with someone in forever—didn’t even notice the buzzes in my pocket.

Even knowing only Seo-ah texted me, I was that absorbed with Se-bin-ssi.

Maybe my wish came true—mind successfully distracted.

If so, total success.

[What’re you doing? Not heading home?]

[I’m seriously going first?]

[Hey!! Why no reply? Something wrong?]

The last one was over ten minutes ago.

Too late to say let’s go together now.

Wanted to walk home with her, but… Guess not today.

[Go ahead]

Typing that was tough.

Never imagined I’d say it to her, but here we were.

[Why? I’m still waiting?]

Over ten minutes later, her reply shot back instantly.

Like she’d been glued to her phone.

[In a club activity. Sorry, but go on without me today]

[Club? You didn’t tell me. What’s this sudden?]

[Started today]

[So why not tell me?]

[Sry]

[I’m really going alone?]

I’d already typed ‘Yeah’ on the screen.

But hitting send? Not easy.

Felt like shaking off her grip when she was holding on.

Maybe it was bold for me.

Pushing away Seo-ah’s hand first felt off.

And she seemed extra sulky toward me, for some reason.

Honestly, it felt good.

Like she cared about me.

Wanted to rush back to her right then.

But… You showed interest in another guy first.

I’d been seriously bummed too, all this time.

With that in mind, I finally…

Sent what might’ve come off cold to Seo-ah.

[Yeah. Go on]

No reply after that.

Scary as hell.

Might regret it later.

But this was a new challenge for me.

No more weak-ass whining.

That’d just hurt me more.

To change, I had to endure some process.

This was all her doing.

Not my fault.

That was my timid rebellion today.

No clue what ripples it’d cause, but for now, it was a bold first step.

A cautious step away from her.