“What’s up? You’re staring at your phone so seriously all of a sudden…”

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking it’s about time to head out.”

“You’re right… It’s gotten pretty late. Where do you live?”

Listening to Se-bin-ssi’s flow, it felt like we’d end up walking home together.

A day came where I walked home with someone other than Seo-ah.

As I tried to change, even the little things around me started shifting right away.

Maybe it was just luck, but if I hadn’t even started trying to change, this luck wouldn’t have found me.

Unfortunately, Se-bin-ssi wasn’t heading the same way as me all the way.

So we agreed to part at the school gate.

It was awkward.

Awkward vibe, but it was okay in its own way.

A fitting tension from being with someone else after so long.

Not overwhelming stress—just the right kind.

With Seo-ah, I’d stress over every word, every tiny action, reading into it all.

Compared to that, this was healthy stimulation.

“Min-jae-ssi. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to learn from you.”

“Ah… But wouldn’t it be better to focus on classes first?”

“I-I guess so… But I’m not in engineering.”

Right… Se-bin-ssi wasn’t an engineering major.

That explained the vibe—she was too bright and lively for one.

Still, joining a game dev club? That took guts.

Or maybe it was pure sincerity.

Her reactions suggested it was more genuine than bold.

“Then, I’ll do what I can.”

“Thanks.”

She’d been walking beside me, then suddenly cut in front and stopped.

She bowed deeply in thanks.

This girl… She meant it when she showed gratitude.

I hadn’t done anything special…

But just taking the bow felt awkward, so I ducked my head a bit too.

Not as deep as hers, though.

“Ahaha! Why’d you copy me, Min-jae-ssi?”

“Ah, it just felt embarrassing.”

She burst into innocent laughter at my move.

Harmless.

Pure, no ulterior motives—just straight from the heart.

It’d been ages since I’d seen a laugh like that.

With Seo-ah’s smiles, I’d scramble to overthink what they meant.

“So, what major are you in, Se-bin-ssi?”

“I’m… In creative writing. Totally unrelated to game dev, right?”

“Ah… Not completely, I don’t think.”

“Really?”

“For example, game scenarios or planning.

Or games where the story’s the main draw in certain genres.”

“Really? I had no idea…”

Chatting like that, the awkward walk home flew by—the end came quick.

“Well, I head this way.”

“Yeah. Take care.”

We bowed to each other again.

Then I went my path.

Honestly, on the way down to the gate—or right at it—I worried about running into Seo-ah.

I’d told her to go ahead not long before leaving the club room.

Luckily, no encounter.

She’d really gone alone.

That’s when a bit of gloom hit.

Because Se-bin-ssi wasn’t beside me anymore?

Had her presence given me the courage?

Did I end up leaning on her without realizing?

Those thoughts swept over me like a wave.

How would Seo-ah take today?

Her personality—she probably wouldn’t just let it slide.

She’d bottle it up.

Or maybe she’d think it was for the best.

Maybe she’d seen me as dead weight all along.

Couldn’t shake off the childhood friend label herself, but now I’d bailed on my own.

The brief peace in my mind turned unstable again.

Back to square one.

I pulled out my phone to check Seo-ah’s SNS.

Wondering if anything new posted in the meantime.

Nothing.

No idea if that was a relief or a letdown for me.

I couldn’t tell.

Couldn’t read her mind anyway.

“The club?”

“You don’t have to go every day.”

Today, I chose to walk home with Seo-ah after all.

Truthfully, I was a little scared—wondering if yesterday’s stunt had pushed her away.

Couldn’t numb myself all at once, after all.

So maybe Se-bin-ssi was waiting for me in the club room.

Hope not.

No way to contact her ahead, so I couldn’t warn her.

Had to call it unavoidable.

As we walked, Seo-ah suddenly stopped.

Like she had something serious to say.

“Min-jae. Can we talk for a sec?”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s… Grab a cafe or something?”

A cafe.

I liked the sound of that.

Wasn’t the heavy talk I’d feared—just more time with Seo-ah.

For reference, before she liked Woo-bin oppa, we’d hit cafes or eat out like this often.

It tapered off once she started liking him.

So her offering her hand first? Welcome.

For all my solo drama yesterday about getting numb, one small gesture and I folded instantly.

Yeah, that’s the reality of unrequited love.

Pushing away’s not as easy as it sounds.

One scrap of attention from her, and my heart races.

Then I settle for that.

We got to our usual chain cafe and sat across from each other.

“Why join a club without telling me?”

“Just… Happened. Impulsive on my end too…”

“Yeah? Still, you could’ve said something. Felt left out.”

“Sorry…”

She grilled me like yesterday still stung, but I actually felt good—like I’d earned her attention.

Making her feel bummed? Nice.

Even her scolding me felt good.

Like I mattered enough to affect her emotions.

That high didn’t last.

She brought up Woo-bin oppa soon enough.

Here it came—the thing I’d dreaded.

Didn’t want to know, but secretly craved details on their status.

Time to hear it.

“Went to a movie with Woo-bin oppa over the weekend.

But our tastes don’t match, I think.”

“Why?”

“You know I like gory, scary stuff.

But he seems into romances.”

“Yeah… Your taste is kinda unique.

Probably no one but me would watch that with you.”

That perked me right up.

Mismatched tastes with him? Good for me.

Slipped in how I was the only one who got her.

My own little flirt?

“Right. Feels like you’re the only one who’d sit through that.

Childhood friend with matching movie tastes—kinda wild, huh?”

“Yeah…”

I put on a smug face on purpose.

Shoulders squared, feeling good.

Then Seo-ah let out a worried sigh.

“Should I get a part-time job… Got so much I want.”

“Need to? Maybe drop the greed of wanting it all?”

“Hmph… You wouldn’t get it. A girl’s heart.”

“You are a girl?”

Ah… What a loser move.

Liking her so much inside, but spouting crap like she wasn’t a girl to me.

Like I was advertising I didn’t see her that way.

Idiot move.

“Whatever. Be right back—bathroom.”

She left her phone on the table, screen still lit.

So my eyes naturally drifted there.

Earrings? Craving those?

Yeah… Seo-ah always loved accessories.

And speaking of—mine to brag about.

The necklace I’d given her as kids.

She still wore it.

Gotta brag-worthy, right?

Even if it was just friendship feelings, it made me proud.

Earrings… Should I buy her some?

Maybe the buzz from earlier had me going.

I was already plotting to gift her earrings.

Numbing? Yeah right.

All I thought about was getting her attention.

Still, a gift… That’s just friendly, right?

I’d buy her wanted stuff now and then before.

Started as my way to show feelings.

But somewhere, it turned into my self-satisfaction.

Just loved seeing her happy with it.

So even if she showed it on purpose, I wasn’t that mad.

If a gift from me cheered her up, that was win.

I got off on seeing that.

That bright smile she flashed me.

And it secured my spot somehow.

If she thought of me when needing something, I’d take the pathetic role easy.

A bit later, Seo-ah came back from the bathroom.

“Recommend a part-time gig.

If I hang with Woo-bin oppa again, this month’s budget’s toast…”

Ah…

No way…

She paid when out with that guy?

I clenched my jaw without thinking.

I spent on her, and she spent on him?

Harsh, cruel reality—gut punch.

Yeah… This the lot of a loser like me?

Mood swung from high to low, ending on this note.

Back home, lost in deep thought alone.

What the hell did I even want?

Gonna numb myself.

Prepare to pull away.

I’d sworn it.

But spend time with her, and poof—forgot all about that weak crap.

Satisfied in the moment, like it never happened.

Then she mentions him, and gloom crashes back unbidden.

What a maniac.

Fit right in with bipolar vibes.

Heard it’s all mindset.

Common saying.

But… Skip the ‘all’ part.

Instinctual feelings? No fixing with mindset.

Still, I had to cling to that.

Mindset’s everything.

Otherwise, no path to change.

Numb out.

Numb out.

Swore it to myself again.

Maybe it’d build a healthy dynamic.

Her liking another guy? Not a crime.

I knew that—knew I couldn’t meddle.

That’s why I wanted to fix me.

Not blame her—fix this pathetic self.

Had to dress up my twisted heart with nice words.

Hide the ugly me, even a little.

Yeah… Cut back on running into Seo-ah.

When with Se-bin-ssi, I was all set to numb.

Right—starting tomorrow, reduce Seo-ah encounters.